Ohh, Canada. We love you, but we don’t always see eye to eye. Despite our occasional differences in opinion, we still respect you. Even though we don’t understand why, how, or when you decide to do some of the things you do, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Thanks to your creativity(?) we can make lists like this with ease. In honour of Canada’s upcoming birthday, here are a few ‘snapshots’ in time when officials maybe took themselves too seriously? We give you, 20 weird Canadian laws that we can’t believe ever existed.
*Note: Most of these laws no longer exist or are no longer practiced (obviously).
1. In Souris, P.E.I. building a snowman more than 30 inches on a corner lot will land you in hot water.
2. Sweaty booboo? Too freaking bad. In Canada, it’s actually illegal to remove a band-aid in public, and honestly, that’s something that we can get behind.
3. Rub-a-dub-dub, 3.5 inches in your tub…if you live in Etobicoke, Toronto. Any more than that and it could land you in the clinker.
4. Live in St. John’s, Newfoundland? The Law states that it’s illegal to drive your cows around after 8:00 a.m. You also can’t have them as house guests. Sorry, folks.
5. It was actually illegal until 2017 to challenge someone to a duel or to accept an invitation to a duel anywhere in Canada.
6. Feeling tune-sy? Keep it to yourself… between the hours of 11 pm and 7 am. In Petrolia, Ontario whistling in public in the evenings will get you arrested.
7. You better believe it’s not butter! In Ontario, until 1995 it was illegal for companies to make yellow margarine.
8. Until 2018, it was a punishable offence in Canada to pretend that you were a witch. Dressing like one was totally fine, though.
9. In Fort Qu’Appelle, Saskatchewan walking down the street with your shoelace undone could get you into some serious trouble, but only if you’re in your teens for some reason.
10. We encourage you to do your errands on Sundays, but we advise you to leave your dead horse at home. In Toronto, it’s illegal to drag your dead horse down the street on the last day of the week. Just wait until Monday, we guess?
11. Live in Alberta? Don’t you dare paint a wooden ladder.
12. Ever freeze and pop the middle of a toonie? Write a phone number on a $5 bill? Keep it to yourself. Tampering with Canadian change is against the law.
13. Polly want a fine? In Victoria, B.C., apparently having a mouthy parrot isn’t allowed.
14. We can’t help but feel for the Taxi Drivers of Halifax. Wearing shorts or a t-shirt while on the job? There’s a law against that too.
15. If for any reason, you find yourself in the same room as the queen without heavy security and want to say hello, approach her head-on. Taking her by surprise in any province is illegal.
16. Johnny has four rats, he goes to the store and gets one more. How many rats does he have? None, because Johnny is in prison for breaking the law. Four is the magic number when it comes to rodent ownership in Vancouver, B.C.
17. Do-it-yourself-ers… a word from the wise. Don’t paint your garage door purple. In Kanata, Ontario doing this could land you in court.
18. Pipe alone, or not at all! In Victoria, B.C., it’s illegal for a bagpiper to play at the same time as another street performer
19. It’s a bear, it’s a moose… it’s a Sasquatch! Perhaps one of Canada’s weirdest laws states that if you see the big guy in all of his hairiness in B.C., don’t shoot! Just run and hide. Killing the gentle giant could get you arrested.
20. Finally, anyone caught in Bancroft, Ontario taking a skinny dip, will be arrested. We know you only live once, but enjoying the tide all up on your bits is illegal and for that we’re sorry.
There you have it, fellow Northerners. 20 weird Canadian laws that are almost too bizarre to believe. We may or may have not broken a few of these rules, but that’s neither here nor there. We are innocent until proven guilty, right?!