The crowdsourced slang dictionary that was a staple for 90s kids on the internet is having a moment in the spotlight again. Social media is abuzz with people sharing the definitions of their names on Urban Dictionary and it’s giving us a new appreciation for the manual we used as teenagers to learn all of the inappropriate words we overheard in the hallways.
In tribute to the site that is ridiculous, hilarious, and informative all at the same time, we’ve compiled the best Urban Dictionary definitions we could find of 6 Canadian cities.
Toronto
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“A great city to live in. Some people are full of themselves and like to think the sun shines for them and only for them, but the majority of people in Toronto are truly good people,” one definition of Toronto says.
“The largest city in Canada, that’s overrated,” another person wrote. “People who have never been there think it’s great, but when they go they realize it’s a sh*thole. The Leafs suck as well.”
“Toronto (or Turanna, as its inhabitants call it) is a decent city with mainly decent friendly people, that has some residents who think it is better than it is, even believing it to be an amazing cosmopolitan experience and a world class city; these Torontonians obviously haven’t traveled much.” Ouch!
Calgary
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“Great pot in this city, and great prices. Fun club scene, and great pubs,” says one person’s definition of Calgary.
“Calgary Stampede comes every second week of July, and it’s the only time this city lives up to its hick stereotype,” it continues. “Alberta is full of small municipalities with huge trucks, fields of cows and horses, and more liquor stores per capita than anywhere else but the larger cities within Alberta are not anything like this despite what you may have heard.”
“Far enough south of Edmonton and beautifully far from Toronto. Unfortunately, way west of Montreal,” another one reads.
Edmonton
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It seems that not even Edmontonians are very big fans of Edmonton. One person defines Edmonton as “a place that looks like ass, but is still expensive to live in.”
“The capital of Alberta, a city like Calgary only smaller, and with methheads instead of cowboys.”
One particularly harsh definition did offer up some positives about the city. “On the bright side, Edmonton is also one of the wealthiest, fastest growing cities in the world, and the average Edmontonian has a higher per capita income than any other type of Canadian.”
“That’s the only reason I stay in this frozen over hellhole,” it continues. “Edmontonians have opportunities like no other.”
Vancouver
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“That city where if you own a house already, you can sell it and buy two of the same in Toronto, or three in Calgary, or an entire street in Winnipeg,” says one definition published in 2006 and is clearly no longer accurate.
“Pros include hottest women and cars, best beaches, cleanest air, best weather in Canada, nicest architecture, densest skyline, highest population density, most boats per capita, always no 1,2, or 3 in the world for quality of life,” says another.
“A city that thinks it’s better than Toronto, but really, really, really isn’t,” says one biased definition. “Toronto will always be the best city and Vancouver and other lame cities like Edmonton and Calgary need to relax and stop being so god damn jealous!”
Another one offers a totally different opinion. “A beautiful city on the west coast of Canada about 40% the size of Toronto, but offering much more by way of quality.”
Montreal
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“Probably the only city in the province of Quebec to hold as many subcultures and different lifestyles,” says a top definition of Montreal. “The action in Montreal is absolutely unbelievable. You could visit Montreal for a few days and feel like you’ve lived a totally different life while spending your time there.”
“One of the best cities in North America, the city where Canada’s REAL heritage comes from,” says another.
Inevitably, there are also some haters out there. “Eastern Canadian big city. Worst Chinese food you will ever eat in your life. The weather is extreme to put it bluntly. Winters are brutal. The bus system sucks. There are a lot of really rude people. Move out west!”
Ottawa
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“Ottawa is boring.” Off to a great start!
“You know our city is boring when we talk about our NHL hockey team on Urban Dictionary,” says another one.
To be fair, there are plenty of positive definitions too. “Ottawa is a city that has seen massive growth in every sector in the last 15 years. It is a clean, beautiful city and attracts tourists all year around. Home to many museums, the Peace Tower and Parliament Hill, the finest restaurants and plenty of trendy bars, clubs and eateries in the Byward Market.”
“I rate Ottawa as the second coolest city in the country after Calgary. This is a city on the rise; being just a sleepy government town isn’t what it is any longer.”
