We’ve shipped the marriage of dairy and sugar from the very start. Nothing tastes better than giving your body exactly what it doesn’t need, right? We’ve picked some of the best milkshakes in Toronto for you to get your fix of the dynamic duo. It’s not about health and wellness here, it’s about sucking 10000 calories of pure thick goodness through a tiny straw.

Here are some of the best milkshakes in Toronto, worth every agonizing second of brain freeze.

DUTCH DREAMS

best milkshakes in toronto

This is the 25-year veteran of giving Toronto all the sweet lactose it needs. They’ll make any flavour they have into your shake, and everyone comes topped with a chocolate dipped strawberry, a banana, and whipped cream. Also, go buck wild and get whatever other toppings you want on there. It’s your world.

Where: 36 Vaughan Rd

THE LAKEVIEW RESTAURANT

the lakeview

Guy Fieri came here for the apple pie milkshake, and if it’s good enough for our Lord and saviour, it’s plenty good for us. You need this in your mouth, in the most PG way possible. They’re literally always open, so chop chop!

Where: 1132 Dundas St W

TOM’S DAIRY FREEZE

TOM'S DAIRY FREEZE

This Etobicoke staple is a seasonal favourite for just about any form of frozen dairy confection on planet earth. The shake flavours are classic. If you’re feeling so inclined, go for the extra-thicc options. Just tell them how many C’s you want, baby.

Where: 630 The Queensway, Etobicoke

HOLY CHUCK BURGERS

holy chuck

Holy chuck, these shakes are insane! Actually, everything on this menu is insane. A bacon, fudge, and sea salt shake probably pairs well with a Venus My Nutty Cow burger, eh? We don’t know what it means, but it’s provocative.

Where: 867 4th Ave A W, Owen Sound

THE BEAN AND BAKER MALT SHOP

bean and baker

One kind of milkshake is not enough. Here, you can get classic milkshakes, vegan shakes, malted shakes, espresso shakes, and dessert shakes. The dessert shakes include pie, like actual pie inside the shake. It’s toeing the line of overindulgent, and we love it.

Where: 326 Harbord St

PEACE TREATS

peace treats milkshakes

Hiding inside the Peace Collective store is a haven of milkshakes cuter than we’ll ever be. One of them is named the Berrie-ana Grande, so apparently whoever’s in charge also has mad jokes.

Where: 131 Ossington Ave

THOMPSON DINER

thompson diner

This might not be your expected milkshake locale, but look past the fact that we’re in a hotel and look right at the menu of boozy shakes. Strawberry Nutella with Frangelico? Canadian maple with vanilla vodka? You’re starting to understand why we’re here, we see.

Where: 550 Wellington St W

SWEET JESUS

sweet jesus best milkshakes in toronto

Oh, sweet Jesus, this is a milkshake we’d like to curl up and sink into. Like a tiny cookie crumb, just wrapped in velvety goodness. Should we star tour eternal soak in red velvet cake batter or triple chocolate?

Where: Several locations

We are so ready to throw lactose intolerance to the wind and dive right in here. The best milkshakes in Toronto are worth it, and that’s what we’re going to keep telling ourselves as our body fights us. So good, so very good.