The complete history of the Drake Curse
Oh boy. We were certainly hoping that it wouldn’t come to this, but it appears that the Drake Curse is real- or at least more real than we first thought. It started with a joke and what appeared to be a string of coincidences, but it’s grown into something we can’t seem to control.
The 6ixgod, Champagne Papi, Drizzy Drake Rogers, whatever you want to call this man, he’s brought some voodoo into the sports world and we need to figure it out. Pray to your Gods, people, and hope that Drake doesn’t choose your team as his next victim. To fully document what has transpired, we must dive into the full timeline of the Drake Curse. Here goes nothing.
Drake became the Global Ambassador for the Toronto Raptors, and things immediately went sideways. Well, at least when it came to the playoffs. Will the Raps win a title while Drake is flexin’ his newest OVO fit courtside? Who knows? What we do know is that it’s been a few years of impressive choke-artistry on the Raps part.
One of the ‘true-blue’ NCAA basketball programs (the typical schools that compete for titles), Kentucky is forever a favourite when March Madness rolls around. Or at least, they used to be. Ever since Drake declared himself a “Kentucky Dad” and gave them engraved National Championship rings back in 2012, the Wildcats have been held without a title.
Okay, we’re not going to completely blame Manziel’s fall from grace on Drake, but hey, it’s an odd coincidence. From being the most famous college athlete in the world to a first-round pick of the Cleveland Browns to now having been cut from a CFL team just a few years later (not to mention the arrests and stints of rehab in between), it’s been quite the whirlwind five years or so for Johnny. Did the trouble start back when Johnny won the Heisman Trophy and first got to know Drizzy? Or did the Drake curse kick in when Manziel got OVO tattooed on his very own body, permanently branding himself with the unlucky energy surrounding Drake? We may never know.
Did they ever date? We’re they only friends? Did Drake put a voodoo curse on her when it came to an end?? These are the questions that keep us up at night, especially considering the fact that Drake was in attendance at the 2015 US Open to watch Serena suffer what might be the biggest upset defeat of her career. Also, does the above picture look like a friendly fan? Or a man-witch watching his dark magic make Serena’s game go haywire? Bad vibes, man.
Odell goes off the rails
We all know that Odell Beckham Jr. was riding as high as can be after he made “The Catch”, but the former NY Giants wide receiver is still one of the best in the world at what he does. That being said, rumours of strippers, cocaine, a complete lack of football-focus, and the attitude of a diva have all swarmed OBJ since becoming chummy with our Canadian Rap God.
Taking The Luck from the Irish
This is where Drizzy has shown true power. Conor McGregor, Ireland with feet, the Irish punching-boy, and so on and so forth, is widely considered one of the best fighters of all-time, but his recent loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov may have been decided before Conor ever stepped in the ring. How? Well, Drake couldn’t help himself but flex the Irish flag during the weigh-ins pre-fight.
AS Roma says “No more Drake pics!”
In what might be the smartest move of them all, AS Roma has banned it’s players from taking pics with Drake until the end of the season. Being so wary of the Drake Curse may seem funny, but hey, throw some tinfoil on our heads cuz this is one conspiracy theory we are all the way into.
Toronto Maple Leafs
Well, this is still TBD, but Drake did show up to the most recent Leafs game and ended up watching them lose 6-4. It’s not the end of the world (the series is tied), but we can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he was wearing a Bruins jersey. Sigh.
Whatever the cause of this disturbing phenomenon is, let’s hope that it stops before anyone else suffers (specifically, the Raptors and Leafs).