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RCMP has ‘beef’ with man who stole $230k of Alberta meat & 7 hot tubs

Via RCMP / ShutterstockVia RCMP

Off the top of your head right now – If you were to get away with stealing anything two things, what would they be? Money? Diamonds? An apple store worth of inventory? … What about several lifetimes worth of meat and a hot tub for every day of the week? It’s that one right? Definitely that one. 

In what may go down as the most comfortable, delicious heist in Canadian history, a Montreal mystery man, only known by his criminal moniker, ‘Pascal Charlan,’ has stolen over $230k worth of Alberta beef and 7 hot tubs in 3 weeks.

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In a statement released at the end of August, the RCMP asked the public to keep an eye open for a burgundy semi-transport truck. The 8-wheeler, which turns out was under the man’s fraudulent name, was expected to deliver a shipment of what we can only describe as a crap ton of meat, to the JBS beef plant in Brooks, AB.

The truck never arrived, and now only a few weeks later, 7 hot tubs have been stolen from a Thorsby, AB Arctic Spa by a truck registered under the exact same fake name.

What he plans on doing with all of these stolen goods, we’re not sure we’ll ever know, but man, will we be thinking about it.

If you, by any chance, actually see said ‘burgundy truck’ pulling a white refrigerated enclosed trailer, OR the suspect, who is described as a tall white male with a heavy build and short brown hair, slightly balding, last seen wearing blue jeans, a black T-shirt, yellow fluorescent vest and a surgical mask – please contact the Brooks RCMP (403-794-4400). This might be their guy – and he might just tell them why he did it.

We just want answers, don’t you?