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5 types of Hockey Fans you’ll see on the Red Mile

Via Paul SaulnierVia American Psycho IMDBVia Rafal Gerszak / Globe and MailVia GiphyVia Eric Duhatschek / The Athletic

Well, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when 17th Avenue’s river of streetwalkers becomes the famed Red Mile, and Calgarians young and old turn into some version of hockey fans. It’s the NHL Playoffs, and the Calgary Flames are looking like they’ll make a run for the ages (knock on wood, fingers crossed and all that jazz).

So, with all of that in mind, we decided to team up with Canada’s Sports Hall of Fame to highlight some of the legends (we’re using that term loosely) that you’ll likely see strolling the Red Mile. If you’d like to check out some legends for real, then check out the fun, new, and FREE event called Who’s In The Hall Wednesdays at Canada’s Sports Hall of Fame. It happens on the first Wednesday of every month and doesn’t feature any of the ridiculousness that comes with Red Mile territory (even though we do love some of that).

Anyway, here are 5 types of hockey fans you’ll probably see on the Red Mile this year!

The Suits/The Casuals

flames fans red mile

We all know these people, heck, you might even be one of ’em! The only reason they’re going to the Mile is because everyone is going to the Mile. There’s nothing wrong with it, but when three suits sit in a booth for four hours running up a $500 bill purely of old-fashioned’s and tapas (it’s not actually tapas it’s a plate of chicken wings, you’re at Home & Away you goofs), you can understand why some die-hards get frustrated. But hey, as long as you’re cheering for the right team, we’ve got no problem how you do it.

A Meathead in a Canucks Jersey

It’s going to happen, just ignore it. Or don’t, we aren’t your parents! On paper, you’d think someone in an Edmonton Oilers jersey might incite some anger. Honestly though, if someone is voluntarily wearing an Oilers jersey on the Red Mile, they’re going through a tough enough time already. If someone is wearing a Canucks jersey, however, they’re just stooping to ridiculous lows for some trolling attention.

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The Hockey Hooligan

Obnoxious, loud, drunk as hell- all pretty par for the course when it comes to the Red Mile. Look, we’re not going to shame these people for having fun, but let’s do each other a favour and not ruin a good time for everyone else. Leave flipping cop cars and crashing store windows to the rest of Canada.

The low-key, high-key Superfan

This is probably most of us, to be honest, and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. We start the night off by being excited to watch some playoff hockey and after a few rounds, a couple of goals, and some missed calls, we’re all of a sudden the biggest fans in the place. Hey, the bandwagon has plenty of room, might as well hop on early!

The Lost

This may be a rarity, but we’ve seen it happen before. These are the people, or the groups of people, who don’t know what on earth all of the noise is about. Ahh, pour souls. They just wanted an evening out to sip on an after-work drink or accidentally planned their date-night at a Red Mile hot spot. Either way, they’re going to be in for a bad time. Sorry, not sorry, people, game days are Flames days.

There you have it, people. If you didn’t find yourself on the list, well you’re probably the hooligan. Better to be a self-aware hooligan than an oblivious one, though. So, you’re welcome, and go Flames!

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